Saigon’s Deviating Sexualities: Behind Closed Doors

By Audrey Samuel & Francesca Peris

Under the quiet moonlit night hovering protectively over the rich and bustling city that is Ho Chi Minh, the heart of Vietnam, the lesbian-gay-bisexual-transsexual (LGBT) scene in Vietnam continues to flourish, unnoticed. In comparison, Malaysia’s own LGBT awareness movement is tenfold the movement in Vietnam as we came to discover after spending a few days in Ho Chi Minh City. Like its neighbours – developing and Third World countries - the idea of homosexuality is seen as taboo in Vietnam. Religion can be said to be the root cause of homophobia today, but in reality it serves as justification against the emergence of diverse sexualities.  

One such person who falls under the LGBT banner is country-side man Bates, who recently moved to Ho Chi Minh. He lives a harsh life cleaning hotel rooms, earning him a minimum wage of 100 USD per month and a space on the floor in front of the altar where he sleeps. One might assume that Bates possesses little education but after dinner and a few cups of tea, Bates revealed that he graduated with a Diploma in Food Technology. A couple of foolish decisions landed him in some financial difficulties, which in turn forced him to look for a job where food and lodging was provided, hence his current job.

A perfectly healthy and able man, he finds himself in the midst of “finding” himself. To him, the idea of being gay is completely unacceptable. “I don’t know who I am, I am scared of being gay because gays are discriminated (against) and are shown disrespect in society,” explains Bates, adding his reluctance to take sides by telling us how his family would be troubled by such a revelation. He seems confused, fluctuating within the grey area between sexualities, asking himself if he prefers women to men, or vice versa. Though Bates was once scruffy and uneasy, he now seems to be completely calm and confident, lounging in the chair opposite us, flashing a most generous smile, suggesting he has been reconciled with his gender and sexuality. With the help of new-found companions, he can now proudly be who he really is – someone with WWS, slang for “weak wrist syndrome”.

As for Jacky, a hillside lady who currently works as receptionist in a company in the city of Ho Chi Minh, she finds herself not ready to ‘come out of the closet’. The shy and petite lady, whose beautiful face is sometimes contorted with confusion, also claims to be uncertain of her sexuality. Hailing from a family who think homosexuals are mankind’s destruction to the social construction, she is now slowly opening up to find herself in love with another girl. However, like Bates, she claims to be unsure on how to approach another person of the same sex for a relationship, citing certain doubts and a recent heartbreak. Having had no experience on this front, she faces a tough challenge in confronting her sexuality. Her inexperience in the pursuit of love has proven to be a hindrance, especially in approaching the object of her romantic interest. Owing to the lack of education and exposure to all things LGBT, Jacky continues to pursue her crush in a blunt and forward manner, her repressed sexuality resulting in her inability to express her desires.

Ho Chi Minh, despite its fast developing city, is very much regulated by its communist beliefs, an ideology that is not tolerant of voices speaking from the margins. Delving into the LGBT circle has been as demanding as it has been thought-provoking – compelling us to question our own sexualities as we pose the questions to the interviewees. As in other countries, the ‘unnaturalness’ and ‘ungodliness’ of homosexuality continues to perpetuate misunderstandings and misrepresentations of minority sexualities. We visited a club that is supposedly the LGBT scene of Ho Chi Minh City, the Lucky Lady 61. Upon entering the club, we noticed the lack of raunchy dancing, the teasing and grinding of hips – scenes absolutely typical in Malaysian LGBT clubs - on the very sparsely populated dance floor. Curious, we asked Bates and Jacky the reason for the absence of ‘action’ on the dance floor, who explained that the social paradigm of LGBT is not visible, as they tend to keep their confusion and curiosity private and hope to draw no attention to themselves and their families. In one instance, Bates referred to himself as “the black sheep of the family” as he was made to feel so little of himself, the mere notion of being with another man simply unacceptable, shaking his head furiously in both rejection and denial to emphasize the complete and utter inflexibility. Bates offered a glimpse of his inner turmoil when he said that he was not sure if he was one percent or fifty percent or even one hundred percent sure if he was gay, while Jacky listened quietly, reluctant to share her own dilemma.

The word ‘homosexuality’ is a mouthful to pronounce and yet even more difficult to come to terms with. In Vietnam, where people are still conservative, other Bates and Jackys still stay tightly locked up in their closets, smothering their sexuality in the dark and small claustrophobic space. In time, we hope increased exposure and education will empower young adults to find out about themselves, their sexualities, and be proud of what they are, rather than hide from prying eyes and choke down their emotions with a bottle of Saigon’s best 6000 VND beer, somewhere around the corner.

Bloggers' Profiles 

Audrey aka Godrey, a 27 year-old, transgendered heterosexual studying International Studies and Writing at Monash Malaysia with Bipolar-Disorder Type II from Penang. Caught saying: "Judge me, I dare you!"

Francesca Anna Peris, 22, currently an undergraduate at Monash Malaysia, pursuing a Communications major. Her favorite quote:

‘Beauty itself is but the sensible image of the Infinite’ - Francis Bacon.